I like to share relatable stories and memes, especially on my Instagram account, but for longer ones, I thought to utilize this blog. I will still continue posting about life lessons, but, every now and then, I’ll post these short, humorous stories.
Here’s a little throwback…
Back in my college days (damn, I’m growing old), I took a Wildlife, Fish and Conservation Biology class because it was an easy class to boost GPA. Or, so I thought. A requirement was to do a hike in one of the qualifying canyons and understand the plants and wildlife there. A requirement I found out about a little too late. I was already like crap, physical activity but comforted myself with the thought of getting to enjoy a beautiful view.
A few classmates and I carpooled to Stebbons Cold Canyon where we had an option to do the short hike or the long one. I, naturally, opted for the short but was quickly outnumbered. Brace yourself, I thought. Now, it wasn’t some crazy, strenuous, I’m gonna die upward climb or anything. But, for someone who never really hiked and paused all physical activity for an embarrassingly amount of time, it was pure insanity.
Like, why do people do this for fun?
We had just one car because at the time, I thought it was a brilliant idea. I couldn’t bail. Up it was. Initially, it was fine. The group and I chatted. We got to know each other and bonded quite well. But, when the steepness came, my legs spoke to me: why are you doing this to us? What did we ever do to you? As someone who is a fan of having legs, I tried to listen. I rested, but my classmates, with their, you know, normal bodies, strolled along. So, if I didn’t want to be alone, I had to keep going. And, boy, I did not want to be alone there.
We continued on and finally made it to our destination with a beautiful view. I shed tears of
joy earth-shattering pain while clicking pictures of the stunning greenery around me. We stood there, taking in the natural beauty around us. Utter bliss.
Eventually, we were on our way down. I paced like I’ve never paced before. The energy flowed inside me and the bed and pizza called for me. Finally, we reached the car and I was on the way home, relieved of physical activity. I finally reached my room and couldn’t wait to get on my dorm-provided-rock-solid bed (fun times…). I didn’t change my clothes. I didn’t take off my contact lens. I just laid in my bed, contemplating my life decisions, particularly the one when I said hey, let’s carpool together to make our lives easier!
I was famished. I ordered pizza but 15 minutes later I got a call from the driver saying he is unable to find my apartment and to please come to the front of the community. Why me, I thought. I know, so dramatic, but in those situations, it’s just difficult not to be. I was unable to carry the weight of my legs and I pleaded for him to find me. After leading him through a maze, he finally arrived at my front door and all I wanted to do is give him a hug (and take the pizza). Don’t worry, I tipped him well.
I then blasted the heater, went into my comforter, turned the TV on to the Disney Channel because I only got two channels (and also because Disney eases my mind even to this day) and proceeded to eat my cheese pizza. I eventually knocked out and the next day, I woke up hoping to feel better. I didn’t. So I laid on my bed and promised to never hike again. Yes, I was that dramatic.
So, kids, this is why I don’t hike anymore.
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